Go-Go Guru Glossary
*THIS PAGE WAS UPDATED FOR JANUARY 2012*
GO-GO GURU GLOSSARY – ‘THAIMINOLOGY’
Hi Guys, this is an alphabetical listing of Dave The Rave’s original ‘Thaiminology.’ The Go-Go Guru Glossary consists of Dave The Rave’s unique twist on how we term things in Thailand’s business of pleasure. Enjoy!
‘AAA’ FACTOR – Adorable, Available, Affordable – Thai girls compared to their foreign counterparts.
ANALYSIS PARALYSIS – An exceptional level of the ‘Q’ Factor disables our ability to select a Thai bar girl. Like a bad days shopping, you end up looking at everything and buying nothing. Can sometimes be used, when you cannot decide what to order from a top class restaurant menu.
‘AT’ AMUSING THAILAND - I use this expression, because Thailand never ceases to amuse me. It’s a spin on the Tourist Authority of Thailand’s promotional slogan, “Visit Amazing Thailand.” I changed ‘AT’ to Amusing Thailand because I believe that we all shouldn’t take life too seriously. A laugh a day keeps the Doctor away!
BANGKOK BROADWAY – Dave’s analogy for Angelwitch Go-Go Bar in Nana Plaza. Pioneers of the most creative and professionally choreographed shows in Thailand. Branches in Bangkok (Nana Plaza) and Pattaya (Soi 15 Walking Street).
BOOBY TRAP – Warning about go-go bars that have Thai bar girls with enormous boobs. Careful you don’t fall into a big booby trap!
BOOZE CRUISE – A refreshing twist on pub-crawl.
CARNAL CARNIVAL – Description for Thailand’s adult entertainment areas.
CASH ‘N’ CARRY – Paying the bar fine, or buy out for a Thai bar girl. I find the term ‘bar fine’ quite misleading. You could say, “I have to pay a bar fine, but I haven’t done anything wrong.” When a customer asks, “Bar fine?” The bar boss might reply, “Yes, fine thanks for asking.”
DAVE THE RAVE - Go-Go Guru and Intrepid Investigator. I was nicknamed ‘Dave The Rave’ because I was always raving on about Thailand and Thai dolly birds. Although I worked in nightclubs in the UK for 15 years, this is NOT why I was nicknamed Dave The Rave. Now you know!
DOLLY BIRDS – Dave’s Thaiminology for attractive Thai girls.
‘FF’ FACTOR – Farang Friendly
FOURS FACTOR – This is an original Dave The Rave quote about Japanese clients of Thai go-go girls. The penis, performance and payment consists of – Four inches, Four minutes, Four grand.
HORNYTHOLOGY – The study and handling of dolly birds.
LITTLE LAS VEGAS – Dave’s Thaiminology for Soi Cowboy.
’3-M’ MOBILE MONEY MACHINE – A ‘3-M’ is a human cash dispenser, or a farang with more money than sense.
NEON JUNGLE – Dave The Rave Thaiminology for Thailand’s red light districts, which include Patpong, Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza and Walking Street in Pattaya.
PLEASURE PLAYGROUND – Dave’s Thaiminology for Pattaya.
‘Q’ FACTOR – A Quantity of Quality – what every good go-go bar should endeavour to have.
‘R’ FACTOR – What every go-go bar should always do – Recruit and Retain go-go dancers.
SEXERCISE – How Thai bar girls keep you in shape.
SEXPAT – Farang resident who practices Hornythology.
SKYTRAIN SHUFFLE - In both scenarios Thai girls are clutching metal poles. The only difference between some go-go stages and the skytrain, is that there’s more movement on a skytrain! For very BIG and lazy go-go dancers the term ‘buffalo shuffle’ is used.
SOAP-A-DOPE – Soapy massage belly boxing tactics.
TESTOSTER-ZONE – Red light districts and adult entertainment venues in Thailand.
THAI TAKEAWAY – When a guy pays the bar fine, or buy out and takes a dolly bird home. A typical expression is, “I fancy a Thai takeaway tonight.”
THAIMINOLOGY – Dave The Rave’s twist on terminology, which is incorporated into the Go-Go Guru Glossary.
TREASURE-FOR-PLEASURE – Dave’s original twist on pay-for-play. Can also be used as, “No treasure, no pleasure” to replace the old expression, “No money no honey.”
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