Preface – Most of this following advice is for those who are not familiar with a certain gogo bar or red-light district in Bangkok or Pattaya. However, even experienced guys need reminders from time to time. The go-go bars are like any other business, the ultimate goal is to make money. The go-go dancers are not upon the stage for the goodness of their health. Bearing this in mind, if you think Thai gogo bars are mercenary, then visit the strip joints in Farangland for a reality check. I wish you happy hunting!  

Know Your Game Plan — You should have a game plan before you enter any go-go bar. Remember, it’s your time and your money. You are calling the shots, so never forget that important fact. If for any reason you do not like the venue you can simply leave, as long as you have paid your bar bill. Firstly, see if the venue suits your needs before you commit yourself. The bar cannot charge you for looking! Any go-go bar is either busy or empty for a reason. Remember this before you decide to sit down. Here are my guidelines to help you create your gogo game plan… 

Do Not Burn Your Bridges — If for any reason you feel angry, it is better to walk away than cause a scene. Use the 24-hour rule; leave and assess the situation when you have cooled down. You may have had too much to drink, there may have been a misunderstanding and more importantly, you may want to return to that go-go bar. Furthermore, you certainly don’t want to start a fight, as you will be surrounded like General Custer! Believe me, just walk away, as it really is not worth the trouble. There are plenty of other gogo bars, so no reason you can’t have a good time.

Look Before You Leap — Take your time before selecting your lady of the night. A common mistake is to go for the first girl you see or the first girl who approaches you. She may well be the biggest hustler in the place! Wait until you have seen all the girls or you may regret it later. Therefore, there may well be hotter girls available, so hold your horses. Do not be rushed into a decision by a pushy mamasan or go-go dancer. In fact, it is better to cut out the middleman altogether. Why do you need somebody else to tell you what you like?  You pick the girl, not the other way around.

Rules Of Engagement — They say all is fair in love and war. Well, this certainly applies to the business of booze and babes! Part of playing any game is knowing the rules. What are the drink and bar fine prices? If you don’t know then ask, don’t try to fly blind or you may well crash and burn. Before you start buying loads of drinks, how much does she charge? If you think a strip club is a lonely-hearts club you are in for a big shock buddy!

Show You Know — Show you know the game, show them the banknotes (literally) and show you are in control of the situation. The persona you portray is important, as Thais read body language well, so show you are assertive and confident. Any dodgy Thais intent on cheating you will most probably leave you alone and go after an easier target. Show them you know the go-go game and be prepared to stick by your guns.

Be The Boss — My final top tip is to be the boss. Certain bar girls are hardcore hookers, who are masters of manipulation. Did you know some top gogo dancers can earn 100,000 to 300,000 baht per month? Don’t let them gauge you for cash, they might make more money than you do. Don’t be scared to refuse them when they get too greedy. Just remember whose money it is and remain the boss. You have every right to spend your time and money how you want. After all, the customer is supposed to be king. 

Epilogue — During the golden years, I ran both Hollywood Bars, Angelwitch Rock Dancers and Billboard Bar, which were among the most popular gogo bars in Thailand. Nowadays, I see so many problems with numerous gogo bars; they are inundated with issues both internal and external. Therefore, I feel my guidelines for you are more essential now than ever before. Armed with this advice, there is no reason you cannot have a great time in the gogo bars of Thailand. You just need to know how to play the gogo game.  

Dave The Rave is a unique Thailand Nightlife Guru with vast professional experience in Bangkok nightlife since 1999. Dave is still closely connected to Thailand’s nightlife and his blog remains popular worldwide. 

Publishing Schedule — Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays. 

My Email — davetheravebangkok@gmail.com